It Is Not An Option

My 10 year old son Gavin is 100% committed to making sure we pray with him before he goes to bed. He will start asking thirty minutes prior to bedtime to make sure we do not forget to pray with him. He has even woken me up at 2 a.m. very distressed that we did not pray before he fell asleep. Gavin sincerely believes that he can not end the day or prepare for the next without prayer. He is incomplete and unsettled in his spirit if he doesn't make sure we speak the word of God into him before he closes his eyes. #ProudMom #ChallengedMom

While listening and laughing with him before we did our nightly prayer a few evenings ago, I had a physical ache in my heart. That feeling you get when you just know you have forgotten something important. You know what I am talking about, the moment the "mommy light bulb" comes on. Or we can just call it what it really is, the Holy Spirit speaking to our hearts. What I heard was "You are responsible for teaching him how to pray. You are teaching him how to believe My Word for exactly what it says; to be able to speak my promises with confidence through out his entire life."

My typical night time prayer goes something like this ~ "Jesus be with Gavin tonight. Please keep him safe. Help him to rest peacefully. Please watch over him tomorrow at school. Help him to have a good day."

 I'm not knocking that prayer. God knows our heart. I'm sure He understands when we are tired and just want to hurry the prayer along to get the kids to bed. At least I hope he understands. Be honest, you know what I'm talking about. I am suggesting  that we may at times miss something so much bigger and more amazing that our children need to know. 

 We tend to ask God for things that he has already spoken over our lives; asking for promises that have already been spoken over our children."Light bulb moment", I have been teaching my boys to ask for what has already been given. Confession on myself, I am guilty of getting upset with the boys for repetitive asking of things that I have already given them the answer for. Haven't you?

         Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not                                                                                                                                           depart from it."

~ To  train up means to teach
~ To ask God for something will require us       to be teachable
~ To speak the promises into a life will              build a lasting foundation of believing            God for who he is.

                      1 Corinthians 15:2 says " If you are saved HOLD FIRM to the word."

 Our children need us to stand firm on the word and display our own trust that God "will" meet our needs, He "will' protect us, He "will" give us peace, He "will" be our defender. Those promises have already been freely given.  

Can you even imagine what would happen if we, daily, spoke the promises of God into our children. They may just learn to stand confident knowing who God created them to be. They may just grasp that the "Cross" was for them.

 ~ To my child,
Father, thank you for entrusting me with my children.  I will do my best to guard their heart from the things that are not of You. Holy Spirit - dwell in them and guide their steps. You have promised to meet their needs, protect them and give them peace that passes all things. Since they are Your child, all Your promises are given to them when they accept you as their Savior. When they face trials in life, teach them to trust in Your perfect will in all things. Help them desire Your will not their own.  I will help them hide the Your Word in their heart to be a shield from all things the enemy will use against them. To deny Christ is not an option for their life.

However..If they fall, if their faith becomes weak, if their heart is broken and questioning, remind them that You will never leave or forsake them because You have called them by name. May they never forget that I will always be their mom.  May they never doubt my love for them. Daily, I will speak Your promises over them. I will stand firm and trust that everything You promised is for them. 

               "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know the truth."
                                                                                                                              1 John 2:2                                              
                 In Jesus name I speak these promises over my children's lives . Amen.  ~


    

Encourage or Critique

I want to ask you a question, one that I have recently asked myself. Have you ever used your strength to point out another's weakness? Let me ask it another way that may make it easier to understand. Have you ever used the things that come easy for you to point out an area where someone else may struggle? 

I recently asked myself this question in regards to my marriage. I questioned what I get frustrated with Jason about and then I asked why. More times than not, it was over issues that I felt I did better. Notice I said "felt I did better". 

How about my boys. I have at time found myself pointing out what they haven't accomplished in a day instead of finding all the amazing things they have accomplished in a day. Have you said "I could have had that done in half the time" or "why would you do it like that?" Guilty. I have. Why do I have equal expectations in areas where I have years more experience?  

In your workplace, when a co-worker isn't keeping pace with you, understanding expectations or is simply not effective by YOUR standard - are you quick to judge or criticize? How do we so easily disregard our own struggles and appoint ourselves a qualified critic?

Before we allow ourselves to become disappointed, frustrated, angry or judgmental towards our spouse, children or co-workers, let's take a second (or longer depending on the issue) to assess the situation. Before responding, lets ask ourselves if we are upset because we are stronger in a particular area of our life than they are. Then, lets use our strengths to encourage others in their weakness rather than cripple them with criticism.  

New Life Group: The Brighter Side

I am so excited to launch our new Life Group, The Brighter Side, in April. The Brighter Side is a 12-step support group that will apply Biblical principles to the daily struggles for women who battle with depression, anxiety, bipolar and  body image issues.

Over the last year I have had numerous encounters with women in our church and community that wake each and every day facing these issues.  I have listened to each of them discuss the shame, embarrassment and weariness in their hearts. Many times they wondered if they continually struggle with these issues because of something they had done wrong, or if they simply lacked the faith to be healed. My answer to them every single time was ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Christians cannot ignore the reality of mental illness.  When we fail to understand a person's actions or feelings it is easy to distance ourselves, ignore them, fear them, blame them for their own problems, shame them, or try to "cure" them with scriptures and prayer.

In addition to professional medical care, women struggling with a mental illness need support from others who understand the pain they experience and who are willing to walk that path with them, seeking God's peace together. They need to seek out what Jesus says about their hurts - uncovering a love that only Christ can truly give and sharing a hope that passes all understanding.

This group is very near to my heart because I have struggled with depression, anxiety and ADD since I was a child. My battle intensified after the birth of my first child, when I encountered the dark world of post-partum depression.  I could never express how I was feeling - or maybe I was simply too ashamed to tell anyone the "crazy" thoughts in my mind...thoughts that did not align with the person I wanted to be. I was lost, hopeless and alone.

It was hard for me to admit that to myself because I was busy putting a smile on my face - praying for those at church who were dealing with their own hurts and difficulties.  Around 10 months after my first son was born, my depression came to a head.  I called my husband at work and confessed that I was having suicidal thoughts. I was lost, scared and desperate to feel right again, to feel normal.

I received the proper help that I needed and felt better, but I have still struggled at various times over the years. In fact, my most recent struggle came during this past year. In January of 2013 I found myself struggling with that dark cloud  that consumes someone with depression. My heart was heavy, I felt lonely even when around the people I love most.  I felt angry inside with no apparent reason to be angry.

I know personally what is like to love the Lord with all my heart, wanting nothing more than to be the woman of God that He created me to be, to love others, and to show them Jesus with my words and actions. But I also know what it is like to lay in bed or kneel at the altar and beg God to heal my mind and heart.

I know the delicate balancing act of wanting desperately to feel happy, to see things the way you know you are suppose to see them, and yet still not understand why you do or say the things you do at times. I know the confusion of looking at your husband and children and knowing that you love them with everything in your being, but having a hard time feeling any emotion.

I had a family member once say to me, "just get up and make the decision to be happy." I dwelt on that for years and questioned why I couldn't do that. But I can't.  I can't just wake up one day and say "Oh, I wanna be happy, so I will be happy!"  Believe me, I've tried, it doesn't work like that.

This past year was different for me though, because now I hold the precious role of being a "Pastor's Wife". I am the one women come to when they are struggling; I am one they come to when they need to vent, and I am the one that is suppose to hold their hand and say, "don't be scared, the Word of God says..."  I love and honor the role God has placed me in. I accept that role with incredible humility. But I have never felt as lost and downright fake as I have at times this past year - because I am believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle with Depression. 

I am doing better. Will I go through another trial? I don't know. I may, but I know I will never stop believing God for my healing, for my hope, for my peace of mind.

I do not have this illness figured out. I do not have all the answers. I will never act as an amateur counselor. But I do know that there are many, many women in and around our community that are struggling with these same issues and I know that If I have felt alone, hopeless, angry and lost, then others probably have as well.  This is where our new support group was birthed.

The Brighter Side will be a support group filled with love, comfort and hope in Jesus Christ. We are going to dive into the word of God, and hide it deep in hearts so that in the moments of darkness we can breathe the Word of God and know that He is fighting on our behalf.

Freedom To Obey Gods Word

James 1:22-27
" Do not merely listen to the word and deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues to do this is not forgetting what he had heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does.  If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

     With another 4th of July slowly fading into memory, I'm sure you have heard a lot of talk about "freedom", whether it be the freedom our founding fathers set out to provide us, the freedom our veterans have fought to defend, or even the freedom some may feel we are slowly losing piece by piece to a ever more invasive government.

     I want to focus on the freedom that each of us has been granted as Christians. Often, we hear people say (or have possibly said ourselves at one time or another) - "God has given me the freedom to choose; He gave us free will."  I fear that some of us have been looking at that "freedom" all wrong...I know at times I have. Throughout history men have abused that freedom by violating Christ commands, rather than seeking and using that freedom and power to obey them.  Without Christ we could never live up to Gods standards, but through our faith in him we receive not only his  mercy and forgiveness, but also the desire and power and freedom to OBEY him!

     In this particular passage, James is teaching us that we can be involved in all kinds of church activities and  ministries and be able to speak a lot of wonderful scripture, but if we do not put that into practice, all of our activities and knowledge are meaningless.   We are all familiar with the old saying "practice makes perfect", and that principle is never more proven than in our relationship with the word of God. If we do not choose to act on or use what we know about Gods word we will not retain it and it will not become a part of who we are.
 
     In verse 27, James is showing us principles of what defines Gods word -
        1) Christians must show genuine love and active compassion for those in 
         need. Today, when we  notice people in need of practical assistance, we
         should do what we can to alleviate their distress and show them that God
         care for them. 
        2) James is saying that love for others must be accompanied by a love for
         God expressed through holiness or it is not true Christian love
 
     Spend some time alone with God and ask yourself if there is any area of your life that is holding you back from everything He has for you. Really examine yourself to see what may be hiding under the surface, or if there have been small moral compromises that could lead to bigger spiritual missteps.  Finally, take a look and determine who you are serving, befriending, helping, or demonstrating God's love for - and make certain the fruit displayed before them is born of the time spent with your Father.

"Hear" Between The Lines

A few days ago while at school I overheard a phone conversation between a female classmate and her mother. They were discussing a house that she (my classmate) was looking to rent. She became ecstatic and overwhelmed with emotion when she was informed by her mother that the house had a walk-in closet in the master bedroom.

I heard her say "I can't believe it, a real closet, I'm going to have a real closet!"

I laughed to myself and wanted to say "It's just a closet, find out if it has enough cabinet space in the kitchen."

After returning to class after break I again heard her begin to talk about this new house. Getting a new home can be exciting. It is fun to plan and decorate. It is fun to arrange the furniture just right. It is fun to imagine the different memories that  you will make in that new home....But her excitement seemed really over the top. Then I started to really listen!

She began to tell me that this house represented a new beginning for her. She has spent the last year recovering from an addiction to alcohol and drugs. She was finally enjoying her 2yr old son. She told me that she was excited that this house was going to be her home and she would no longer have to spend a few months here and there.

Talk about feeling immediate guilt - in a split moment of over-hearing something, I had made an uncaring and judgmental thought about someone. What would have happened  to this young lady's, a daughter of Christ, self-esteem if I had made a joke or an insensitive comment about "It's just a closet". The effect would have been hurtful and damaging, because our words matter.

Just when I thought I was simply being kind by listening to her talk about a "walk-in closet", I heard Jesus whisper to me..."Really listen to her."

I was able to hear a young lady speak about her struggles, her fears, her insecurities, her dreams and desires. But, what I was really hearing was "I need someone to believe in me, I need someone to tell me there is hope, I need someone to tell me I have a purpose."

The door was opened.  God wanted to use me to tell her that I believed in her, but more importantly, that Christ believed in her. 
    
  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.- Ephesians 2:10

She needed someone to tell her that there is Hope in Jesus Christ.
  
  But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.- 1 Peter 2:9

She needed someone to tell her that she was created on purpose for a purpose.
  
  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.- Corinthians 5:17-21

Are you listening to what is being said all around you? Chances are that before the end of the day, if you slow down to listen, you will "HEAR" between the lines and discover an amazing opportunity to share the love and hope of Jesus Christ.

Have You Ever........?

Have you ever been around someone that was simply rude and/or hateful and needed to be put in their place...so you did?

Have you ever had to sit and listen to someone who was obviously ignorant going on and on, wrongly ranting about something and needing to be corrected...so you did?

Have you ever given your "opinion" or "advice" to someone because they "needed to hear it?"

Have you ever sat listening to someone talk about their goals and dreams, thinking to yourself "they need a reality check"...so you gave it to them?

Ummmm..... I would never speak to someone like that! That may be a little fib. OK - a BIG fib. I'm sure I have. In fact, I know I have! To be honest with you, I have spoken to others at times with the attitude of: Well they deserved it; they had it coming; I'm not putting up with...! Am I the only person who has been guilty of this?

James 1:19 says " My dear brothers
  and sisters take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow  to anger."

James 3:4-5 says " A small rudder makes a huge ship turn..In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes a grand speech. But a tiny spark can set a great forest fire."

Ephesians 4:29 says "When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need - words that will help others become stronger."

I want to challenge you, just as I am challenging myself, the next time we find ourselves in a situation with another person who may be rude, hateful, hurtful, arrogant or just down-right wrong....STOP and ask yourself, "Will what I'm about to say be helpful or harmful? Will it make them stronger? Will they feel God's love and grace through my words?"

Words are said to be food for the soul. If you had food and saw someone starving, would you not feed them? Of course you would. Then we should do the same for their hearts as well.
"Do not withhold encouragement from the discouraged. Do not keep affirmation from the beaten down. Speak words that make people stronger. Believe in them as God has believed in you." ~A love worth living.

If you have accepted Christ in your heart, then you are held to a higher standard because you have accepted Gods gift of Grace. One would think that with that "higher standard" we have been given permission to "speak our minds, to correct those who need correcting, to stand up for ourselves, to put another in their place if they need it." I believe that the higher standard and authority that has been given to us by God's gift of Grace is to show and speak love, to show and speak forgiveness, and to show and speak grace to others as we have also been shown by our Heavenly Father.

Take a moment today to read Proverbs 4:1-27.

Let's all take time to pray today about our words. That everything that comes from our mouth be filled with His Love, Wisdom, Encouragement and Strength.

Choose

The definition of "Choose"

Verb

1. 1) Pick out or select (someone or something) as being the best or most appropriate of two or more alternatives. 2. 2) Decide on a course of action, typically after rejecting alternatives: "he chose to go".

 

We make decisions of all types throughout our day. We choose what time we are going to get up. We choose what to eat for our meals. We choose what we are going to wear. We choose to speed, or drive the speed limit. We choose to take certain phone calls. We choose what to watch on TV, or what to read. We “CHOOSE” our decisions.

 

I know for myself, I have been guilty a lot of times of letting those daily choices dictate my thoughts, my attitude, and my behavior toward others; especially those in my own household...anyone else guilty of that?

Let’s face it, we all have at one time or another, some more than others. I don't know about you, but I am ready to start "choosing" the right attitude, the right words, and the right actions throughout my day -despite life circumstances!

 

We have all heard this verse at some point in life:

Joshua 24:15 " But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

 

From the beginning of time God has given us the right to "Choose" how we would live.

 

I will leave you with this from Max Lucado's: Grace for the Moment..

"I Choose LOVE~No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose Love. Today I will Love God and what God loves."

"I Choose JOY~ I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

"I Choose PEACE~I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live"

“I Choose PATIENCE~ I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage."

“I Choose KINDNESS~ I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone, kind to the rich for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind for such is how God has treated me."

“I Choose GOODNESS~ I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I CHOOSE GOODNESS."

"I Choose FAITHFULNESS~ Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their parent will not come home."

“I Choose GENTLENESS~ Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself."

“I Choose SELF-CONTROL~ I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule my eternal life. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control."