New Life Group: The Brighter Side

I am so excited to launch our new Life Group, The Brighter Side, in April. The Brighter Side is a 12-step support group that will apply Biblical principles to the daily struggles for women who battle with depression, anxiety, bipolar and  body image issues.

Over the last year I have had numerous encounters with women in our church and community that wake each and every day facing these issues.  I have listened to each of them discuss the shame, embarrassment and weariness in their hearts. Many times they wondered if they continually struggle with these issues because of something they had done wrong, or if they simply lacked the faith to be healed. My answer to them every single time was ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Christians cannot ignore the reality of mental illness.  When we fail to understand a person's actions or feelings it is easy to distance ourselves, ignore them, fear them, blame them for their own problems, shame them, or try to "cure" them with scriptures and prayer.

In addition to professional medical care, women struggling with a mental illness need support from others who understand the pain they experience and who are willing to walk that path with them, seeking God's peace together. They need to seek out what Jesus says about their hurts - uncovering a love that only Christ can truly give and sharing a hope that passes all understanding.

This group is very near to my heart because I have struggled with depression, anxiety and ADD since I was a child. My battle intensified after the birth of my first child, when I encountered the dark world of post-partum depression.  I could never express how I was feeling - or maybe I was simply too ashamed to tell anyone the "crazy" thoughts in my mind...thoughts that did not align with the person I wanted to be. I was lost, hopeless and alone.

It was hard for me to admit that to myself because I was busy putting a smile on my face - praying for those at church who were dealing with their own hurts and difficulties.  Around 10 months after my first son was born, my depression came to a head.  I called my husband at work and confessed that I was having suicidal thoughts. I was lost, scared and desperate to feel right again, to feel normal.

I received the proper help that I needed and felt better, but I have still struggled at various times over the years. In fact, my most recent struggle came during this past year. In January of 2013 I found myself struggling with that dark cloud  that consumes someone with depression. My heart was heavy, I felt lonely even when around the people I love most.  I felt angry inside with no apparent reason to be angry.

I know personally what is like to love the Lord with all my heart, wanting nothing more than to be the woman of God that He created me to be, to love others, and to show them Jesus with my words and actions. But I also know what it is like to lay in bed or kneel at the altar and beg God to heal my mind and heart.

I know the delicate balancing act of wanting desperately to feel happy, to see things the way you know you are suppose to see them, and yet still not understand why you do or say the things you do at times. I know the confusion of looking at your husband and children and knowing that you love them with everything in your being, but having a hard time feeling any emotion.

I had a family member once say to me, "just get up and make the decision to be happy." I dwelt on that for years and questioned why I couldn't do that. But I can't.  I can't just wake up one day and say "Oh, I wanna be happy, so I will be happy!"  Believe me, I've tried, it doesn't work like that.

This past year was different for me though, because now I hold the precious role of being a "Pastor's Wife". I am the one women come to when they are struggling; I am one they come to when they need to vent, and I am the one that is suppose to hold their hand and say, "don't be scared, the Word of God says..."  I love and honor the role God has placed me in. I accept that role with incredible humility. But I have never felt as lost and downright fake as I have at times this past year - because I am believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle with Depression. 

I am doing better. Will I go through another trial? I don't know. I may, but I know I will never stop believing God for my healing, for my hope, for my peace of mind.

I do not have this illness figured out. I do not have all the answers. I will never act as an amateur counselor. But I do know that there are many, many women in and around our community that are struggling with these same issues and I know that If I have felt alone, hopeless, angry and lost, then others probably have as well.  This is where our new support group was birthed.

The Brighter Side will be a support group filled with love, comfort and hope in Jesus Christ. We are going to dive into the word of God, and hide it deep in hearts so that in the moments of darkness we can breathe the Word of God and know that He is fighting on our behalf.